Post-exchange rambling on a Friday night

Sobriety: an abnormally rare condition on a Friday night for a Praha trainee characterised by too much blood in the alcohol stream. Symptoms include coordination, morality, awareness, less idiotaness, ability to spell all of this correctly. Treatment: TICKET TO PRAGUE, NOW, PROSIM! But since the treatment is a bit expensive, I’ll use my voice on cyber space to whine/reminisce/ponder a little.

It’s been 10 days since I’ve returned to my tiny remote island on the other end of the world. Yes, I’m happy to see my family and close friends, to breathe the unbelievably pure air and see familiar places and faces. It’s nice to gorge on all the treats I missed so much, hear/read/understand/speak the same language as everyone around me and be pampered so much in the sanctuary I call home but a part of me still lingers on in a tiny little country in Central Europe. A part of me still finds it hard to reintegrate into life in this paradise called NZ! A part of me is still feeling the after effects of an amazing life-changing experience.

Life-changing...it’s a term I’ve used rather loosely to describe my traineeship experience ever since I arrived in Prague. I thought more about the term the other day. I went to Borders (yeah super surprising considering my horrendous reading skills) to kill some time before meeting with a friend. I have always thought about documenting my Prague experience so naturally I was drawn to the travel writing section in the bookstore to get some inspiration. Ta-da I found a book – “Me, myself and Prague” written by Rachel Weiss, an Aussie writer who wrote this book about her one year escapade to Prague. I only read the foreword and was hooked on...I could relate to her experience in so many ways. She described her one year in Prague as a life-changing experience as it helped her discover herself. I couldn’t agree more. My 16 month epic adventure was life-changing. I didn’t meet the love of my life (much to my mother’s disappointment :P) neither did I find the job of my dreams nor did I do anything outrageously crazy like bungee jumping or sky diving but I did change. Life as I know I know it and the Rucha that I once was will never be the same again.

I had always been a straight A student throughout my school and University life. I was a woman with big dreams and a plan, a life plan – Bachelors, graduate degree from an Ivy league school, a corporatey career with a Fortune 500 company followed by a job with the UN, a family life with a white picket fence, 2 kids and a Mcdreamy and then a PhD and becoming an educator. Wandering around aimlessly on the streets of Europe, living with a whole bunch of crazy international idiotas, mastering (alcohol) drinking and partying skills and working in a small company in Prague were never a part of the life plan but boy am I glad that I have a problem with sticking to plans :P

How does a Harvard degree-UNDP job-white picketed lifestyle compare to an intense party-fuelled life in crazy hostelesque trainee apartments? Well, it’s hard to compare since I haven’t experienced the former lifestyle but I do know that I learned more in the last 16 months about life and myself than I had ever learnt at University. Not all those who wander are lost! I’ve learnt the importance of having a global mindset (cultural spongeness FTW), the importance of adapting to all sorts of situations and people (Thank you Andel apartments :P), the true meaning of friendship, developing an unshakeable trust and love for humanity (people surely maketh a place), being a migratory bird/nomad building a nest wherever I go, the vital need for holding on to the child-like curiosity and constantly accepting and overcoming life’s challenges and most importantly having FUN FUN FUN. Life’s too short to not be living da vida loca ;)

I’m sooooooo grateful for this life-shaping, self-discovering, idiota-being experience. I wouldn’t change a thing about those 16 months. The emoness I feel now and the concern I have for future experiences (HOW WILL ANYTHING EVER MATCH UPTO THIS?!) are all testimony to how amazing this experience has been. Moving on is going to be hard...as Zrinka and I discussed, the end of one’s traineeship is like a break-up but only harder because you’re breaking up with soooo many more people/places/objects of affection in this case. SIGH but c’est la vie.

As a wise philosopher/a cheesy facebook page proclaimed “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”, I’m going to stop whining over the end of my internship and being so far away from my new-found friends and family and be happy that it happened! The internship was a life-changing, not life-stopping experience so it’s time to use and apply all my life lessons to life here in NZ and continue living da vida loca!

Breaking the walls

When I start feeling emo, I stop feeling emo and go for a walk instead. True story.

So emo I was and out for a walk I went. I walked out of Andel apartments, turned on my iPod, turned it on shuffle and let it dictate my theme song for the moment. Funny enough, it was Good riddance by Greenday. It's strange how a random song on the iPod when combined with a view of the beautiful Prague castle and the homely smell of the dirty Vltava can give you a new perspective.

The last 4 weeks haven't been easy. Lots of goodbye, lots of changes. Nothing is the same. Nothing will be. I'm a gitana, a nomad by heart who thrives on changes, new situations, new places, new people. Having lived in 5 countries in the last 23 years, I thought I would be better at goodbyes and that I would master the art of rational detachment and go with the flow. Nobody said it was easy, noone ever said it would be this hard. Goodbyes suck. Changes suck.

I remember having this discussion with my Colombian friend, philosopher and guide when I was offered the contract extension by my company. I confessed to him that I wanted to leave Prague before I completely fall in love with the city and that I didn't want to be the last one left behind. That's not me way! I am the one who leaves, I'm the one who has farewells so to have the roles reversed wouldn't be easy. He said to take it up as a challenge. I had come here to learn, grow and get out of my comfort zone, I had to challenge myself to be in this not-so-pleasant predicament and I had to overcome my fear of falling in love or getting too attached. So challenged myself I did and yes it's hard and yes I've reached that point where I can't wait to leave this place! The countdown has started, Andel has just become a source of shelter, rational and irrational detachment from people, places, things has started in full swing.

But then tadaaaaa. I realized something.

In all my relationships, be it with people or places, I start swimming out as soon as I feel like I've gotten in too deep. I start building walls as a defense mechanism to protect me against all the unforseeable, unknown danger out there. I start destroying my nest that I built because of the fear of getting too cosy in a place that I consider to be temporary. I fleet instead of fighting. I build walls so strong and so unnecessary that I not only block out the unforseeable and unknown danger out there but also all the good things out there.

I have less than 12 weeks left in Prague. I can build more walls. I can go into my shell. I can play it cool or I can go all out and embrace everything the next 3 months have to offer. Sure it's going to be hard leaving this behind, sure it's going to be harder settling back in NZ but I can't let the fear of what can happen ruin what is happening right now.

As my role models - The Beatles say "It's a fool who plays it cool by making the world a little colder". I think it's time to stop this premature cooling off, break those self-made walls, open the doors, mend old ties, create new ties, go out and embrace everything the next 3 months have to offer. It's not going to be the same as before. Its not going to be familiar. BUT it's going to be a new experience and its going to be another chapter in this story. I can't have a boring, premature epilogue to this adventure so the walls are breaking, the ice is melting, the voracious appetite and child-like curiosity for new experiences (good or bad) is BACK!

HOLLER!

Shaken, not stirred

The “kiwi can-do spirit”. I first heard this term and really thought about it in Canada. A bunch of kiwis were hiking up some hill near Banff and I being the outdoors-aversive person that I have sadly become, was scared/disinclined to walk up the hill and I remember one of the girls saying “c’mon, where’s the kiwi can-do spirit” and in that freezing cold outdoor scene in Banff I thought of all the people and things that embody this can-do spirit. Sir Ed on the Everest peak, the mighty All blacks in a rugby game, the first women who got us voting rights before anyone else in the world...yeah sure this is a bit too dramatic and over exaggerated but I strongly believe that our can-do attitude is our biggest strength. It’s what keeps me going being all alone in a new and different part of the world.

Lately, I have been almost scared to open the NZ herald front page. In the past few weeks, I have read about the loss of a fellow schoolmate because of a freak food poisoning accident in Thailand. I have heard about the terrible loss of an AIESEC alumni and partner of one of the nicest people I know. I have seen pictures of the quake-hit Christchurch – one of my favourite places in NZ. All terrible news that make me long for home and make me wish I was there. I couldn’t have changed or prevented any of this but I know being there would have made a difference. I sit here in my room, thousands of miles away, constantly checking the news and twitter/facebook updates to make sure everyone I know is ok but I still feel helpless. In this state of helplessness, I also find hope. I have been so impressed by the way people have been reaching out to everyone in Christchurch – be it having a last minute fund raising concert or refraining from using your cell phone so that those in need can use the much needed bandwidth or be it offering help of all sorts on the facebook page for supporting victims of the quake. These all go to highlight the unbeatable can-do spirit, the unmatchable friendliness, the drive to find solutions rather than focusing on the problems that kiwis are known all over the world for. Yeah shit happens, but we don’t cry over it, we stay strong and we build ourselves up again. We are a country of fighters and survivors. New Zealand, you give me hope and make me so proud!

“Kia Kaha” is probably one of my favourite Maori phrases. It means forever strong and that pretty much captures the spirit of New Zealand. Friendly Cantabarians, I’m really really sorry for your loss but I know we will come out of it..coz unlike those Obama followers, YES WE REALLLY CAN . I can see from the rescue efforts that we are shaken, not stirred even after this “darkest day in NZ history” and we will continue to pick up the pieces and stay forever strong.

Arohanui from Prague

A good year

It's been a year. A good year.

I had a good walk down nostalgia lane as I travelled on the tram and bus and waited at the airport arrivals section for a new trainee to arrive in Prague. It's funny how roles have reversed and how things have changed sooo much in a year. Last year, around the same time, I was a naive-keen eyed-ready to explore Europe-I-have-no-idea-wtf-I'm doing new kid on the block waiting to arrive in this winter wonderland and desperately hoping to see my AIESEC buddy (a somewhat familiar face in an unfamiliar place) at the airport. Here I was a year later, as a "local" waiting to receive another new kid on the block! I thought and pondered and reminisced the year it has been. It's been a year. A good year.

Before coming to Prague, the term “life-changing” was just a cliché I often used when promoting AIESEC exchange. Now, I totally understand how a few months of living and working in a new country can be life-changing. Life as I have known it and my view of the world as I had known will never be the same after czeching in to Prague.

My main objectives from this exchange were to MEET, LEARN, LOVE and met, learnt and loved I have! This exchange has had such a “positive impact” on my life both personally and professionally. Since I’ve been such a slacker at blogging, I decided to combine all those epiphantastic blog posts that could have been in this mega “Aha moment” blog to summarize the awesomeness of the year it has been!

The job:
To be completely honest, my job here was supposed to be just a means to an end - something with a steady source of income that would support all my travelling, wining and dining with an added bonus of some ”professional development”. The job wasn’t really related to my rather broad and vague degree. It seemed like a cool company and was very “AIESECy” so that’s why I applied. After having worked here for a year, I realised how awesome my job is. It’s not the most well-paying job but it sure is rewarding! I like how I’m not working day in and out solely for profits. I get to organize new cultural and educational experiences for people to broaden their horizon and challenge their business and worldview. I get to talk to/meet with not only senior managers of big companies but also self-starters and philanthropists. I learn something new about some country or some company every day. I get to talk to educators with a glut of knowledge, wisdom and experience and degrees from Harvard, Princeton and the like. I have colleagues who I actually look forward to seeing everyday. Our company is small but has a global reach..we have the warm fuzzy feel of a small company with dogs and babies regularly visiting yet the corporate feel of working with the Microsofts and GEs. I still don’t know what I’m going to do in a few months or how exactly this job will fit in with my future career plans but I do know that if I connect the dots backwards, I will look at this job as a very special launch pad for a long working career ahead!

The people:
I don’t even know where to start or how to summarize the relationships I have formed over the last year. I read a cheesy line in the trainees orientation booklet which said “Prague: where you come as strangers and leave as family”. As cheesy as it is, it’s the best way to summarize my experience with everyone I have met here. People from all over the world and all sorts of backgrounds but people who I can’t imagine living my life without in a few months from now. Who would have thought that you could put together parts and pieces from different cultures, speaking different languages, wanting different things and still have them function as a well-oiled machine? The people factor is definitely the key to making this year so awesome. I believe tough times are the best testing grounds of relationships and a perfect image springs to mind. I was sick as a dog a couple of months ago and kinda partially blinded by uveitis. Being sick in a new country with an unbelievably bureaucratic and predominantly Czech-speaking medical system is not easy......but it never seemed hard. During my 2 weeks of “blindness”, I had the most amazing support system. I will never ever forget the kindness showered by my flatmates and the AIESECers during that time. I remember sitting in the hospital waiting room once with 6 of my friends/flatmates, (kinda) blind, exhausted and tired and looking at all those concerned faces of my global family of “doctors” and “mothers” that were there with my blurry eyes and thinking “I’m the luckiest girl in the world”. A wise man once said “he who does not travel, doesn’t know the worth of men”. I couldn’t agree more. I value people sooooooo much more now after all the travelling. These people have been the float to my boat in the past year!

The travels:
13 countries, 23+ cities, 1 year. What more can I ask for?! Sure I’ve seen the Eiffel Tower and the Berlin Wall and the Colosseum and yes it was exciting but what I have loved about all the travelling is the soaking up of cultures. It’s soooo fun being in a new country, living and experiencing a new culture, forming and breaking stereotypes, creating and losing memories! It is said that you wander for distraction but travel for fulfilment. Europe has implanted the travel bug in me, my appetite for travel has still not be fulfilled and I can’t wait to explore more of the world!

The AIESEC:
I read this thing on facebook – “When I start being sad, I stop being sad and start being an AIESECer instead”. Made me LOL at the cheesiness..but I realised how true this is in my case. AIESEC has been such an important (leader/intern)ship in helping me navigate my way through life. I’m glad I could still be involved in AIESEC and it’s activities after coming to Prague – the LC meetings and conferences, boat races and EB elections, sugarcubes and lecture bashes all take me to my happy place! I’ve thoroughly enjoyed being a part of AIESEC Prague and I respect them so much! I can’t thank AIESEC enough for helping me have the time of my life!

The family:
Last year was a tough year for the family in more ways than one but absence has surely made my heart grow fonder for what I have at home. Sure, I have made new friends and created a new “whanau” here but I still can’t wait to be home to the three people I love the most in the world. Skype conversations at work with Urooza about difficult decisions like what to eat for lunch and daily evening skype sessions with mum and dad about EVERYTHING help me get through the day! Togetherness in spite of the long distance and strong unshakeable family ties through the thick and the thin have made this year a wonderful year.

The love:
Love life is still a dud. I guess I just haven't met YOU yet! As I was telling one of my friends today, even after all the travelling and meeting new people, there’s just one conclusion : there’s no country for good men! ;) I’m still lost in finding a way back to love and finding the man of my Mcdreams but I’m enjoying singledom and the “single” status has surely made the last year a lot more fun!

It’s been a year, a long year, a good year. A year that has definitely changed life as I have known it and I can’t wait to see what the next 4 months will bring!

A new dawn, A new day, A new year, A new new year's resolution.

2010: A year of Blogging fail.

Before I came to Prague, I envisioned myself to be some sort of a travel writer with regular blog updates about my new adventures, musings and shenanigans of life in Europe.

It's been 7 months since my last blog entry.

My sister recently mentioned how I'd lost my "deepness" since I haven't rambled on about some epiphany, life lesson etc via a blog entry or facebook note. The writer in me has somewhat got lost in the craziness of the Prague lifestyle.

It’s a beautiful day in Prague. It’s sunny, people are smiling (yes, even the Czech ones!), it’s warm and I’m finally in a non-wintery jacket. SPRING IS IN THE AIR and Yael Naim’s new soul is on the playlist. I’m sitting in Globe, my top favourite place in Prague and compiling a long simple yet complicated idealistic list of my must-do’s, must not-do’s this year. Writing is definitely on the list.

The list:
- Read more - surpass the 3-books per year average
- Travel more
- Write
- Learn a new language
- Apply for that masters degree
- Start some form of regular exercise
- Keep up with that regular exercising routine
- Send postcards
- Communicate
- Drink less
- Cook
- Stop waiting for the right person to come into your life, be the right person to come to someone's life. (All hail Zen habits!) :P

The blog’s back.

Peacing out now to Czech in later.

Love thy neighbours...

It's been 3 months since my last blogpost. I fail at consistency. A friend of mine made an interesting observation. He noticed that the regularity of my blog writing was directly proportional to my emoness level. The emoer I was, the more I wrote..so the fact that I haven't written in a while is a testimony to my happiness level. I am a very happy chappy right now and the subjects of this post have played a huge role in contributing to my blogging irregularity. It takes one epiphany to get me writing and I had one such epiphany today as I was rick rollin with 4 crazy people. It was a "this is it" moment..the moment in your life when you look at things and think damn, life is pretty damn amazing! This is it. This is what happiness would look like. This is what I'll talk to my grandkids about someday. This is it that I have travelled thousands of miles for.

I left NZ six months ago to embark on a new journey of life. I wanted to live in and explore a new continent, I wanted to do a (somewhat) "real job",I wanted to meet a whole bunch of different people and I wanted to find myself. And I did indeed find myself...in a flat filled with 6-8 other crazy people from different corners of the world. Think FRIENDS but more multicultural and less incestual. Think Spanish apartment but slightly tidier. Think three's company but with 6 people. Think world without borders, a mini united nations, a live united colours of benetton commercial, think my heaven on earth.

To be honest, I was very worried about who/where I'd live during my traineeship. I hadn't really lived with anyone except my family (with the exception of 6 months in Canada). Although peaceful co-existence is the motto of my life...I was a bit worried about how I'd peacefully co-exist with sooo many people without driving either them or myself crazy. I am a pretty useless person to live with. I don't cook, I clean occasionally (i.e. only when realllllly needed) and I have a bit of eccentric streak. Fortunately for me, my flatmates not only love cooking but also feeding lazy useless people like me. Cleaning is not everyone's top priority but has been mandated by the cleanliness Nazi and her lovenotes around the flat and I wasn't the only one with a "bit of an eccentric streak". I live with a whole bunch of crazies!

I hadn't ever lived with anyone that wasn't family and I guess that tradition continues..I live with a family. A family of people from Brazil, France, Colombia and Croatia (to name a few). A family that spends every living moment together. Personal space is so overrated in our flat. We cook(I watch) together, we go shopping together, we have boytalks and girltalks, we maintain the alcohol level of our alcohol stream together, we discuss philosophy,politics andmovies, we do silly things, we remind each other of silly things (that some of us often forget :P), we gossip together, we sing to disney, we rick roll. We are a bunch of shiny happy people from different countries, speaking different languages, brought up in different ways, living in a home away from home and making a home away from home. I think if the founders of AIESEC would look at us today, they could pat themselves on the back and think they've done a great job of making the world a smaller and more tolerant place.

Coming back to my epiphany, I thought if an alien was to come and ask me what happiness on earth looked like..I'd take them straight to my raggedy little (shared) room in Andel apartment and show them these 5 crazy people from 3 continents dancing to Disney songs after eating a meal prepared by one of them in Ikea bowls bought during a "family" shopping trip to Ikea. Positive energy level in room: extreme, differences: say what? Similarities: more than you can ever imagine. Silliness level: extreme. Goofy grins, uncoordinated dance moves, out of tune singing in a weird mix of accents. Kodak moment of a perfect life. C'est la vie right now and I'm very happy.

The cheesiness level of my note is making me throw up so I'm gonna stop right here. However, I'd like to say that I came to Prague for several aforementioned reasons but the only reason that would hold me back in Prague are these bunch of crazy looney toons. This is really "it". The bible says one must love thy neighbours as one loves thyself. As a self-proclaimed narcissist, I can admit that I have come to love my neighbours just as much as I love myself ;)

Meeting New Zealand : Confessions of a brain drainee

I remember watching this video a while ago where they were looking for new slogans for promoting NZ tourism and one of the slogans they had come up with was "New Zealand: where nothing happens" (trying to promote it's peaceful, laidback, chilled-out image). HOW TRUE! I had thought. For the rest of the world, New Zealand was one big playground for all sorts of adventurous thrills, from bungee jumping to white water rafting but for me, it came to a point where NZ was a place where nothing happened. I was stuck in the dead end of a very monotonous lifestyle and I couldn't wait to chase some excitement and fun in "greener pastures"...now that I have returned for a short visit back after 3 months, I've realised how the thing that drove me away is now what's pulling me back to NZ.

To be honest, I was never really home sick for NZ in Prague..I missed a few things(mainly food and the English language), people and the beach but none of it was so unbearable that I had to pack my bags right away and fly back to NZ. I guess I'm still in the "honeymoon" period of my exchange where everything looks great through those rose tinted glasses...However, on my flight back home I made a long list of things that I missed/things I'm looking forward to doing/seeing in Auckland and boy, was it a long list! Looking at that list, I realised I had taken sooo many things for granted while I lived here! Ever since I've landed in NZ, I've started seeing it in a new perspective..it's almost like returning to an ex-lover after "experimenting" a little...that may explain why I have "Nothing compares to you" stuck in my head ever since I've been here ;)

It's sooo good to breathe in clean air..fresh NZ air that my chain-second-hand-smoke-inhaling lungs had totally taken for granted here. It's soo good to smile at strangers on the street and speak the same language as everyone around you. It's sooo good to know where everything is (and if lost, to easily ask for directions). It's soo good to go to the supermarket and get exactly what you need. It's so good to see unity in diversity. It's soo good to see the green Macleans fields and the crystal blue Eastern beach. It's soo good to FINALLY get that mince and cheese pie, L&P and bubble tea. It's soo good to be around happy-go-lucky people with a sense of humour! It's soo good to be back! Ever since I've been back, no day has been "ordinary". I've tried to savour every moment and absorb as much of NZ as I can while I'm here. I've learnt to become a tourist in my own home. I've learnt to meet and embrace NZ as I had never met it before.

I'm gonna sound like a complete hypocrite. It's soo good to be back but I'm not sure if I'm ready to be back for good yet. New Zealand is home, it is paradise, it is heaven on earth, it has beaches and sunshine and great coffee and very friendly people, it is the place I'd want my kids(if I have any) to grow up in but I'm just not ready to be back yet. I consider myself to be a NZer but I also consider myself to be a global citizen who wants to take on every opportunity the world has to offer. There's still so much more to explore, so much more to see/do, so many people to meet, so much to compare and contrast to NZ ;).

I was thinking about graduation next week. I'm going to get my degrees and fly straight back to Prague to complete the rest of the internship. After four long years at University, after gaining all the knowledge/skills/competencies needed to be a Bachelor of Commerce and Arts who has majored in Marketing, Management and Psychology, I'm going to go back to a country faraway and drain a brain from NZ. My conscience is not particularly happy right now. I guess I'm somewhat of a brain drainee...I find solace in the fact that although in the short-term, this looks like a brain-drain, once I'm back after plenty of work/travelling experience(and or probably a masters degree from overseas), it would be a brain-gain for NZ in the long-term. I find solace in the fact that once I have traveled the world, met a whole bunch of people, lived a fast-hip-hep-happening lifestyle, I can finally come back to the fresh air, the friendly smiles and fish n chups of NZ, where nothing happens.

I have no idea where I'll be next year. On Sunday, I'll return to Europe for an indefinite period. I have no idea when I'll be back but while I'm here, I'm all set to meet New Zealand as a proud Kiwi, as a tourist with insatiable need for discovering the amazingness of the country,as a bird who has just learnt to fly thanks to the launching pad the country has provided, as a (kinda) guilty brain drainee who wants to come back some day to this fine land with some more brain gain.