Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Learn: The art of getting lost


There were lot of “cant’s” that I thought would act as barriers to my exchange. I can’t cook, I can’t operate any sort of household machinery without consulting Google/my CTO/manuals of all sorts, I can’t drive and I can’t help but get lost. Things such as cooking, domestic tasks, driving were more of “didn’ts” or “needn’ts” or “wouldn’ts” rather than can’ts but the ability to find directions and orientate myself was definitely a “can’t”. I have an uncanny ability to get lost, misread/misinterpret directions and maps. Embarrassingly enough, I’m one of those who still find it hard to tell their lefts from rights. It’s a golden rule in my family to never ask me for directions. I pity those tourists who ask me for help, there must be lots of lost backpackers in Auckland who were led astray thanks to my terrible sense of direction... so I was chicken shit scared of coming thousands of miles away to a new country, a new continent with the slightest ability to navigate myself..I knew I was going to be lost and lost I was, lost I am..but the more I think about it, the more I realise that getting lost is not that bad after all.

A couple of years ago, when I had the coolest job ever, I was playing treasure hunt with my six year olds and this one kid took far longer than anyone else to find the treasure. I asked him if he had lost his way and he smugly replied “Nah I wasn’t lost, I was just trying to find new and cooler ways of getting to the treasure”. Ah, my little Columbus in the making! At that time I laughed at his 6 year old male “I-can-never-get-lost” cockiness but then I realised that’s what getting lost can be! It’s about finding new ways to get to somewhere..Being lost is not necessarily a negative thing....as long as you know what you want your final destination to be, a little bit of disorientation/misguidedness isn’t that bad.

In fact, ever since I’ve come to Europe..my best adventures and experiences have arisen from getting lost. I have discovered the coolest streets, the most amazing buildings, met the coolest people, done the craziest things all when I was “lost”. Just the other day, I had this epiphany..I finished work before 6 (for a change) and decided to make the most of a sunny day in Prague and walk to this mall from work..but thanks to my highly untrustworthy sense of direction, I ended up in a completely different part of the city. I was getting slightly annoyed with myself, I was sick of walking around in circles, I was tempted to take the metro and then... I came near the Astronomical clock. Now the astronomical clock is a pretty big touristy attraction in Prague, it’s an old clock tower with a little ceremony at every hour. It was 5:55 in the evening and there were many many tourists alllll over the square near the clock. I could hear at least six different languages, I could see people of all age groups, of all skin tones, I could see Gucci bags, I could see hobos..everyone waited patiently for the clock to strike 6 and then.. there was the ceremony! Everyone stood there looking longingly at the minute hand, waiting for it to strike 12. Everyone watched in amazement as the “saints” from the clock came and did their thing and then there was cheering from that big congregation of people from all over the world, of all age/socio-economic/racial groups. Hurrah!! We had ushered in a new hour together. It may seem like I’m being too poetic/dramatic about something as mundane and normal as the change of an hour but it was a highly enthralling moment and a highlight of my week..I realised I would have never had that experience if I hadn’t gone slightly “off-track”. I did end up reaching the mall after all but I just found a “cooler and newer way of getting there” just like my six year old explorer.

We are raised in a society where we are supposed to know where we want to go and also know how to get there. I understand the sentiment, I understand the motivation behind it but I also think that getting a bit lost on the way to where you want to be can be highly rewarding. The discovery of America by Columbus, the Eureka moment that Archimedes had in his bathtub, the establishment of Pixar by Steve Jobs would have all been pretty hard to do if they hadn’t gotten slightly lost, slightly off-track from where they were going/what they were doing.

One of my objectives of my travels is to change my “can’ts” to “cans” (Obama style)..I can’t really change my amazing knack of getting lost but I can use it to my advantage and find “cooler and newer ways” of getting to where I want to go.

On that note, I should end this blog before I get more lost in my own ramblings....

Monday, March 15, 2010

THIS MUST BE THE PLACE - Learning to make a home away from home


"Home is where I want to be...but I guess I'm already there".

This must be the place (Naive melody) by The Talking heads is probably one of my most overplayed songs in the last couple of years. At first it was just the catchy, uplifting beat of the song and then there were the lyrics..

"The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along
Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It's ok I know nothing's wrong . . nothing's wrong"


That's more or less the mantra of my life..I love the talking heads and I love this song in particular!

So anyways I was thinking about what or rather where home is..For John Denver it was easy, he could just ask the country roads to take him home to the land where he belonged in West Virginia..for me, it's a little more complicated, if I were to ask country roads to take me home, I'd be at a crazy intersection which pointed "home" in six different directions!!

I was on the metro the other day on my way back from home and I kept counting the number of metro stops I was away from "home"..It was late-ish in the night, I was tired and hungry and sleepy and I just wanted to be "home"..I looked at "Rajska Zahrada" time and again on the metro map and asked myself is this really home? It's been six weeks now, am I ready to call my flat, my "home"? It's a big decision..was I ready to use the "H" word so soon in my relationship with my flat? Was I ready to be exclusive to this place and call it my own? What really is "home" anyways?

Home according to Harriet Stowe was the place which held life's undress rehearsal. It's the place where you are full unreserved, it's a (un)dressing room where you can leave behind all those facades, all those masks and overalls that you often wear when you are outside of home..I couldn't agree more..Home is a sanctuary where I'm completely myself. Home is where I look forward to being at the end of a long day...home is where I know I'll be protected and welcomed, home is the recharger to my batteries..Home is where I can wear my oversized T-shirts and ugly boxers, where I can listen to shit music, eat from a jar of baby food and LOL at stupid youtube videos. Home is where I think I have the right to wear my oversized T-shirts and ugly boxers, where I can listen to shit music, eat from a jar of baby food and LOL at stupid youtube videos. Home is where I know I'll still be loved inspite of wearing oversized T-shirts and ugly boxers,eating from a jar of baby food, listening to shit music and LOLing at stupid youtube videos. Home is in Bucklands beach, Home is in a tiny room in a basement of a dormitory in UBC, Home is in Konark Pooram, home (to an extent) is in OGGB..Home is starting to be Rajska Zahrada.


I've not been a big fan of my flat..it's far from the city centre, it's not in the best neigbourhood in Prague, my carpet is gross and the kitchen does not have a fully functioning microwave(which is a HUGE handicap for someone who can't cook)..I do have a room to myself(which is a rarity for interns in Prague) and a great flatmate but I've been thinking of moving out ever since I moved in.. I didn't decorate my walls..I didn't even unpack fully coz I always thought of moving out..but just 2 days ago..I came back, changed into my ugly boxers and oversized T-shirt, cracked open a jar of baby food, put on a Lady Gaga playlist and then cackled loudly watching the stupid "Lowe Marriage" video Urooza sent me..maybe I have started nesting..Maybe this IS home now..Home in Bucklands Beach is often where I want to be but I guess I'm already there..in a more colder, snowier, messier version of home just thousands of miles away ;)

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Meet. Learn. Love



They say most writers are also readers..me..not too much.. I enjoy writing, I find it therapeutic. I'm a fan of communication and the written kind is my favourite but I really don't read as much as I should/could/wish. My family of avid readers always mock my visits to the library which are usually an annual or bi annual event..but I can see how books can become your best friends.

I was at the lowest of the low times at the end of 2008, life as I had known and wanted had changed. I had failed at love and lost someone dear.I had sunk into that rather deep and unpleasant abyss of misery from which the way out seemed hard. That's when Liz Gilbert came along. A few of my girlfriends recommended I read the book "Eat, Pray, love". It was a book of hope, of self-discovery, a book of finding your way forward and it did just that! Never before have I been able to relate myself so much to a literary character! Through her book, Liz Gilbert made me laugh, cry and totally get how she felt . She is the epitome of my kinda writing..She doesn't use big words but still manages to convey some highly spiritual thoughts and deep philosophy through use of simple metaphors. Her book is about her journey, after a rather rough divorce and endless screwed up relationships to Italy, India and Indonesia where she eats, prays and loves (respectively). In each of the countries, she learns and tries something new. In each of those countries, she is able to break away from the past and find a new part of herself for a new tomorrow. I loved her character, I loved the book, I loved Richard from Texas and I would highly recommend it to anyone in a down-in-the-dumps kinda situation.

So in a way her book became my best friend, philosopher and guide to help me out of my abyss and somewhat inspired me to take on this journey and write this blog.

I thought long and hard about what I wanted this blog to be about..what I wanted to get out of my journey and I came up with three things.

I want this journey to be about
1)Meeting new people
2)Learning new things and
3) Finding a way back into love.

MEET. LEARN.LOVE

Meet: I am a people’s person. I love people and humanity and think people are my biggest inspiration. I think that humans are a fascinating species, we are all so different yet so alike. I want to meet a wide range of people from different cultures, different upbringings, different socio-economic backgrounds..people who I can have fun with, people who challenge my worldview..people who teach me something new. So every time I meet a person who makes me have a “Aha moment”/ “haha” moment, they shall be on the blog!

Learn: I am constantly seeking opportunities to learn, to grow, to understand and to absorb all the information the Universe has to offer me. With curiosity by my side, I’m on an adventure to learn new things..from learning to cook and clean to learning a new language or learning a new tradition or a new skill. Anything cool and fun I learn will be shared on the blog.

Love: In the last couple of years, I have gone from being a hopeless romantic to an absolute love-hating, men-hating cynic. I’m like the Scrooge of Valentines and the thought/sight of something minutely lovey dovey makes me wanna barf...Classical conditioning really does ruin things sometimes eh? I have built way too many walls and defence mechanisms to that word/feeling and become an ice princess and I’ve realised that isn’t healthy..that isn’t me. I think the best way to face your fears is to embrace them and that’s what I need to do with love..not shy away from it, not build walls but to fall in it and learn to swim. That is not to say that I’m on the prowl here :P but that I am willing to firstly learn what “love” means and then slowly open myself to that feeling and let love seep into the fortress of cynicism I have built. So if I do learn a thing or two about love, that would be here too on the blog.

So with that in mind, I am ready to embark on a new journey..to meet, to learn, to love and to document all whom I meet, all that I learn and all those/that/what I love through this blog. May the gods of consistency and NTMI be by my side ;)

The beginning

“So, Let me get this right...you are only twenty one and going all by yourself to a freezing cold country with very little sunshine, where most people can't speak English. Were you on drugs when you made this decision?" asked a rather puzzled co-worker of mine at my farewell lunch. She could not comprehend why I'd leave the comfort of my home, the unconditional showering of love from my friends and family, the security of having a job in hand and the glorious NZ summer to go to a land so unknown and far away. I don't blame her.. To many, this decision was bizarre. For me, it was just what I needed and wanted.

I was twenty one, I was done studying a degree I LOVED, a degree that taught me all about the 4 P's of marketing and Porter's strategies and the symptoms of schizophrenia but a that failed to teach me where to go from there.... I was done with University and at an interesting cross road, completely clueless about what to do and where to go...

When I was younger, I had thought I'd have everything figured out by the time I finished Uni. It was always going to be Bachelors in NZ-MBA in the States-Slaving in the corporate world for a while-Marrying the man I love and living the white picket fence lifestyle with three kids and four dogs and then working for the UN/setting up an NGO/freelancing lecturing at Universities all around the world and then writing a book on a life well lived. That was the “plan”...How naive I was to think that life could be so predictable?!

So I was done with Step 1 of my plan but was not ready for step 2. In my final year of University, I did some serious soul searching and spent countless sleepless nights wondering about the outcomes of this verdictless life. I watched a bazillion graduation speeches and TED talks and I realised that I didn’t want to rush into step 2 just because it was in the itinerary of my “plan”. I was not ready for a MBA..I wasn’ t even sure if that’s what I wanted to do in life..the free- spirited, people- loving, fun-loving ,tree-hugging, randomly- dancing, constantly- giggling, change wanting hippie in me was too scared, unwilling and unprepared to get into the rat race of doing MBA from Ivy league and then working for a company that focused solely on the numbers. That wasn’t me and I’m still not sure if that is me.

In addition to that, I realised I had a lot of growing up to do..I was 21 but I had lived a rather cozy and sheltered life. There is a song by Paul Young, “love of the common people”..about daddy buying you all the dreams you cling to and mumma loving you just as much as she can. That describes our family perfectly. I was brought up as princess, I knew I could achieve dream I had and would get unconditional love, no matter what but I also knew that there is a lot of adversity out there in the real world that I wasn’t exposed to and I wanted to learn to live in this big bad world. No plant ever grows to its full potential under the shade of a big tree, so it was time for the plant to grow a little, expose itself to the sunshine, brave the storms and reap its own fruits.

So I did what every lost, confuzzled, adventure-seeking, answers-wanting person does and I decided to go travelling...now I couldn’t do the whole backpacking thing. I’m a bit too “plan-loving” for that. I wanted to go away but I didn’t wanna roam around like an aimless wanderer. I wanted to use my time away in a more productive manner..and what better platform to do that than AIESEC?! I could finally go on that AIESEC exchange that I have coveted for the last four years. I remember watching a video of Serey from Canada going on exchange to Prague through AIESEC, that was what got me inducted into AIESEC in the first place and here I was, four years later, doing the exact same thing as Serey! Talk about a full circle! It’s funny how this internship came about..

I wanted to go to Europe..anywhere in Europe for an exchange just because I had never been there and I loved the diversity, the new cultural experience and the unexplored territories that the continent had in store for me.. Getting matched to an internship wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I had been applying to places for almost 6 weeks and got no positive response whatsoever..so there I was one day, on the verge of giving up..thinking to myself is this even worth it? That’s when the wisest man I know told me.. “it’s too early to give up..remember the nth call will be yours”..Apparently Edison is quoted to have said that he never failed, he just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work..That got me charged up..so I blared on “don’t stop believing” on the i-pod and listened to it at least a dozen times and found this internship in Prague, Czech Republic. The job description seemed great and something about the TN form had “you know you want to” written all over it..and so I did..I applied for that exchange in that hour of despair and hopelessness, guided by the positive vibes of my favourite Glee song and the rest is history  This internship represented hope and I would have been a fool to not take up this opportunity!

I thought a lot before starting this blog..whether to blog or not to blog..I love writing but I realised I have a tendency to TMI when writing and I also I have a tendency to start blogs, write a lot and then give up within a month or so..so I was a bit sceptical about writing about my travelling experiences..I did not want this blog to be just a travel blog..I’ve read lots of those and there are people who are much better at describing places they visit and things they do..I also figured that most readers don’t really care. I remember being at university, being buried in a pile of assignments and being stuck at my boring part-time job and reading about other people’s awesome adventures and looking at their amazing photos and being totally envious. The point of my blog is not to brag about the places I visit or things I do..I suck at being a tourist so my blog isn’t going to be about places and things but people and feelings(coz I’m fluffy like that)..It’s going to be about another journey...the journey of growth and development..of encounters and epiphanies..of wondering whilst wandering..a journey where I meet, where I learn, where I love.