Stay hungry, stay foolish

Sometimes I think that when I'll look back at my life, I'm going to realise that it was a whole bunch of intertwined epiphanies that I had had while taking a long walk along the beach. Today was no exception.

The sun was out, the breeze was warm, Auckland's weather was at its very best behaviour. Donning my shorts and jandals, with Beirut on my playlist, I set off to the beach. As I walked and got serenaded by Zach Condon's sexy voice, I thought about “Il Dolce Far Niente” - the art of doing nothing, made famous by Julia Roberts and the gesticulating Italians of Eat, Pray, Love. Now, English is my favourite language, the only language that I can say I'm fluent in. I love its nuances and irregularities, the way it sounds and the comfort it provides when spoken by foreign people in foreign lands. How sad is it though that we don't actually have an English equivalent of "Il dolce far niente". Is it because we don't actually value the art of doing nothing?

I've been thinking about this a lot since I've returned from Prague. I've been a "bum" for three months now. After spending THE BEST 18 months of my life overseas, I needed some time to reflect, to wind down, to do a bit of soul searching and self reflecting to see where I want to be and what I want to do. I, personally have had no problems with this lifestyle. This is the first time in a long long long time where I haven't been working or studying or committing myself to some sort of extra-curricular activity and to be honest, it has been very refreshing and rejuvenating. The last three months have given me the opportunity to flock back to the literary wisdom of Kundera, Bach and Coelho, all who had been ignored for a long time. This period of bumhood has given me time and confidence to experiment in the kitchen, I can proudly say I can cook more than just instant noodles and frozen meals ;). I've had time to research and prepare for all future academic and work-related opportunities. I've been lucky enough to reflect more on who I am, who I want to be, where I want to be and who I want to be with. I've had time to catch up on all my TV shows and re-watch all my favourite commencement speeches and TED talks. In this quest for inspiration, I came across two of my favourite quotes from two of my heroes:

Steve Jobs (Stanford commencement speech, 2005):
"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

JK Rowling (Harvard commencement speech, 2008):
"So given a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes."

Both emphasise the importance of not losing yourself in a rat's race. Both emphasise the importance of following your gut feeling and being the captain of your own ship, to sail through the waves of your life, no matter how turbulent they may be. At this moment, being 23 and unemployed, I feel like I'm at the pinnacle (or rock bottom, depending on your perspective) of the "staying hungry and foolish" stage of my life. Everyone I meet is concerned about me not doing anything right now. My friends joke, elders worry, acquaintances go ''aww", competitive peers look at this a big blank space on my CV. None gather that is actually just what I need in life right now. That I'd much rather have some time off now than add more "experience" to my CV that I don't really don't like or enjoy.

I'm not foolish enough to think that the economy runs on jandal wearing hippies who go for mid-day walks along the beach. I'm also not complacent enough to replace my life-long dreams with the short-lived joys of living in the moment. Neither am I idealistic enough to believe that I can pay my bills and student loans by watching inspirational speeches and writing long blogs. I just feel like I needed this time for doing nothing, for being mighty hungry and foolish so when I do look back at my life in 20 years from now, I can connect the dots backwards and look back at this "rockbottom" (as some may describe it) as the foundation on which I built my career and dreams.

So indulge in a bit of nothingness, and to quote Steve Jobs who was, is and will be one of the most inspiring of our generations: "Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

Stay hungry, stay foolish, don't settle...even if it means being a bum for a few months of your life