"Writing is a socially acceptable form of being naked in public" - Paulo Coelho
The intention behind this blog post is to get naked in public, not in a eww creepy way but in a this-does-not-really-get-talked-about-and-needs-to-be-exposed in some way kinda way. I'm not trying to play "poor me", neither am I trying to do my dirty laundry on a social media channel. All I want to do is talk about dreams...more importantly broken dreams, about rejection and disapppointment. All these things are a part of everyday life but no one really talks about it because it's not comfortable, it's not pleasant and it puts others around us in an awkward "how do I react to this" position. Failure is great when it inevitably leads to a success story. It's all great to talk about and quote Steve Jobs and how he turned his fortune around or about Einstein and how he overcame his weaknesses and shortcomings to become a successful physicist but hardly any one glorifies or even talks about rejection and disappointment in its rock-bottom stage.
So here I am, to write and share my story and undress myself in public because I think it's important to talk about the unpleasant and the awkward. I, the "happy hippie", the ever positive optimist am here to share why sometimes life just sucks and why sometimes that can just be a blessing in disguise. During my time in University, AIESEC was a big part of my life (and in a way it still is) yet for some reason I didn't ever go for any core leadership positions in that organisation just cause I was afraid I didn't have what it takes. That turned into a big regret in my last year of uni as something I should have or wish I had done. In that year, I decided I didn't want to live a life of "what if's" anymore so I made a list of things I wanted to do in life professionally and made myself accountable to go do them or at least try to do them. That list comprised of
1. Live and work in Europe (check).
2. Work for a social business (check).
3. If heading to the corporate world, work for Facebook/Google/P&aG/a big market research firm
4. Get a degree from one of the Ivy league schools
5. Work for the United Nations
6. Start my own social business
7. Write a book/Start teaching.
The first two were easily checked off and I felt like I was onto something. My what-if's became can-do's (awesome can-dos, that too) and they were very positive impetus to achieve the other goals I had for myself. That's when things got hard. I've spent the last two months trying to achieve 3/4/5 all together and it's been messy. I applied for exactly the companies I had on my list and got far but not far enough to be successful. I applied for the United Nations, again got far yet not far enough to be successful. The last 2 months have been a combination of a heart,soul,hopes and dreams poured into an application leading to a "promising" interview stage to a disappointing outcome moments. It's one door closing after another, one kick in the butt after another. I'm all for "a kick in the butt is still a step forward" ideology and I'm sure all those rejections would make great material for one sweet story some day but for now rejection is hard, failure is painful and not achieving dreams you have for yourself is hard to digest.
Today as I received a rejection for an internship with the UN, I was at an all time low of this stage of life and then something on my Facebook feed caught my eye and made me reflect on all the negativity. The quote was "I would rather have a life of oh-well's rather than what-ifs". I had made that list in my last year of University as a reminder to go for my dreams, it wasn't to achieve them all (although that would be awesome) but to TRY rather than live a life wondering "what-if" and "if-only" and although those what-ifs invariably changed to oh-wells, I'm glad I dared to go after those dreams. It's good to have a definite answer to the "what-if", as horribly negative as it might be. At this point, I don't really know how those rejections can be used as material for a positive success story, hope seems bleak and options seem limited. If life is about "shit happens", this is the diarrhea stage. But also at this point, the silver lining is that I was victorious against that part of myself that used to hold me back. The silver lining also is that I went for my big hairy audacious goals and didn't settle for comfort and complacency (the easy way out).
So yeah, it's hard being a 24 year old, still living at home and with bleak career prospects after all the doors that you knocked on closed one by one. But OH WELL, it just means it's time to go for the other goals on the list or create new ones. As the wisest man I ever know told me "the lion always takes a step back before making the big leap for the kill". Time to take a step back and launch an attack on the next goal! Till then, feel a little disappointed and dejected. Disappointment is sucky but regrets are suckier!
The intention behind this blog post is to get naked in public, not in a eww creepy way but in a this-does-not-really-get-talked-about-and-needs-to-be-exposed in some way kinda way. I'm not trying to play "poor me", neither am I trying to do my dirty laundry on a social media channel. All I want to do is talk about dreams...more importantly broken dreams, about rejection and disapppointment. All these things are a part of everyday life but no one really talks about it because it's not comfortable, it's not pleasant and it puts others around us in an awkward "how do I react to this" position. Failure is great when it inevitably leads to a success story. It's all great to talk about and quote Steve Jobs and how he turned his fortune around or about Einstein and how he overcame his weaknesses and shortcomings to become a successful physicist but hardly any one glorifies or even talks about rejection and disappointment in its rock-bottom stage.
So here I am, to write and share my story and undress myself in public because I think it's important to talk about the unpleasant and the awkward. I, the "happy hippie", the ever positive optimist am here to share why sometimes life just sucks and why sometimes that can just be a blessing in disguise. During my time in University, AIESEC was a big part of my life (and in a way it still is) yet for some reason I didn't ever go for any core leadership positions in that organisation just cause I was afraid I didn't have what it takes. That turned into a big regret in my last year of uni as something I should have or wish I had done. In that year, I decided I didn't want to live a life of "what if's" anymore so I made a list of things I wanted to do in life professionally and made myself accountable to go do them or at least try to do them. That list comprised of
1. Live and work in Europe (check).
2. Work for a social business (check).
3. If heading to the corporate world, work for Facebook/Google/P&aG/a big market research firm
4. Get a degree from one of the Ivy league schools
5. Work for the United Nations
6. Start my own social business
7. Write a book/Start teaching.
The first two were easily checked off and I felt like I was onto something. My what-if's became can-do's (awesome can-dos, that too) and they were very positive impetus to achieve the other goals I had for myself. That's when things got hard. I've spent the last two months trying to achieve 3/4/5 all together and it's been messy. I applied for exactly the companies I had on my list and got far but not far enough to be successful. I applied for the United Nations, again got far yet not far enough to be successful. The last 2 months have been a combination of a heart,soul,hopes and dreams poured into an application leading to a "promising" interview stage to a disappointing outcome moments. It's one door closing after another, one kick in the butt after another. I'm all for "a kick in the butt is still a step forward" ideology and I'm sure all those rejections would make great material for one sweet story some day but for now rejection is hard, failure is painful and not achieving dreams you have for yourself is hard to digest.
Today as I received a rejection for an internship with the UN, I was at an all time low of this stage of life and then something on my Facebook feed caught my eye and made me reflect on all the negativity. The quote was "I would rather have a life of oh-well's rather than what-ifs". I had made that list in my last year of University as a reminder to go for my dreams, it wasn't to achieve them all (although that would be awesome) but to TRY rather than live a life wondering "what-if" and "if-only" and although those what-ifs invariably changed to oh-wells, I'm glad I dared to go after those dreams. It's good to have a definite answer to the "what-if", as horribly negative as it might be. At this point, I don't really know how those rejections can be used as material for a positive success story, hope seems bleak and options seem limited. If life is about "shit happens", this is the diarrhea stage. But also at this point, the silver lining is that I was victorious against that part of myself that used to hold me back. The silver lining also is that I went for my big hairy audacious goals and didn't settle for comfort and complacency (the easy way out).
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